Confused about what to do, dealing it possible partner with BPD?

I know i asked this before. if my partner does have this and all signs pretty much point to it, he isnt getting help for it (just started) which is great. i love him dearly, and underneath the crazyness is beauty beyond belief. this is also a huge struggle for me cause i have to stay grounded for anything that can be thrown at me. but i feel like after each fight no matter how stupid they are, i start to lose my confidence even more, i feel like ive lost my womanhood, and become numb. i dont want to abandon him, yes we are only 23 but he does my the world to me and after so long i found someone i can trust and love as deeply as i do him, ive gone through hell in my life to know that being with him is worth the struggle, but i dont know what to do anymore. i cry alot, i hate myself again for screwing things up and i feel guilty that i cant love him right. i know that people with bpd say alot of things they dont mean but i was growing as a person, i became new(after my very profound spirtual exp) so i just wanted to grow with him but this disorder is hard one. someone please give me advice on how ic an be stronger to deal with this, or if i should give up before i completely lose myself? or be patient and ground myself. and say i do know who i am.